I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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