everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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