she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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