No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
