Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
