I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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