I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am available for nakedness
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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