Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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