i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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