How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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