My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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