I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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