I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
