I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
