i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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