It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
