Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We need to get me chipped asap
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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