i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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