It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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