K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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