Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
