u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
