At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
