Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
