I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
