The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
