Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
