she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
