I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
