Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
