so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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