Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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