Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
