Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
