in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
