I just cut my nipple shaving
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
