oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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