So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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