8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Who wears a wallet chain?!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
