my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize