You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
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Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
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It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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