Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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