someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
