i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
