I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
