Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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