ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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