he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
NoShamevember. You game?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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