I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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