She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize