I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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