I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
