Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
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You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
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I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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