Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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