Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
