please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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