For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
