She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
