just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
